this may be the end.

so over the past night or so i have really been thinking.
my boyfriend and i have been together for almost three years now. in that time he's made and broken a couple of promise and well the third time was enough.

well at first i thought i was okay. i thought that i was strong enough and that what we had was strong enough to handle it and we could move on.

ive tried for weeks and weeks to get this one particular promise/problem out of my head but i cant. its just driving me insane.

ive told him and well we're taking a break. but for how long? anyones guess is as good as mine.

today would have to be a pretty terrible day.

no thanks to the rain and work ha.


ah my life is just a joy atm.

=[

The First Day..

This morning i woke to find my stomach full of butterflies and my new uniform neatly pressed. No it wasn't my first day of school, but my first day of full-time work.

Driving to work this morning i had so many thoughts running through my mind, wondering if people would like me, if i'd make any mistakes and most importantly...meeting the big boss. I told myself that it was going to be fine and you know what? It really was fine.

It was actually quite funny. Last night I received a message from my nan & pop wishing me luck and my pop said to "Go get 'em kid!" But you know what? I'm not a kid anymore and of course I had to remind him. "I'm now a big person, pop!" Haha. He replied that he was sorry and he'd had a senior moment.

Today was good though. I learnt a lot, I didn't make mistakes well not major ones! HA! And I met the boss and had a lovely chat with him. He's actually really nice and down to earth and well normal!

I'm so tired though, it's been a big day for this big girl and I have to get up tomorrow and do it all over again. JOY!

Welcome to the real world!

Broken Promises..

We all make promise right? Ever had them broken? More than once? Over and over again?

I don't know why but I have this problem, the more people make promises to me, the more they are broken. But when is it enough? When is it that you cannot forgive these people? How many broken promises does it take before you just give up?

With family I guess it's different right? They're family and you have to forgive them for their mistakes. But what happens when its not family? What happens when its the one person in the world that you really really trust...or did trust. What happens then?

I've had my fair share of broken promises and I'm only now realising that I can't forgive and forget anymore. The little tiny things that remind me about it are everywhere. Everywhere I go, everywhere I look. But the thing is. This person, they mean the world to me. Time and time again I have my promises broken by this person but yet I keep picking myself back up, brushing myself off and letting it happen all over again.

After 3 times though, I can't handle it anymore.

I don't want to say goodbye, really I don't. But I don't want my promises broken again. I've made a promise to myself though. One more time and it's the last.. forever. No excuses. No "It won't happen again". 'Cause you know why? Because it WILL happen again and again and again. I'm just not strong enough to take it that much.

But do you know what really gets to me? The fact that I mean so little to them that they can break those promises over and over. once its broken though, it's like I'm so important and then it starts all over again.

*sighs*

Heres to hoping it doesn't happen again.

It's All Just Starting..

So I'm new to all this and well I'm starting a new beginning in my life and thought well why not share it.

The new beginning in my life. The part where I finish school and I take the step into the big, wide world of full-time work. It's been 3 months since I graduated school and have been learning every day since.

Graduation week was so amazing. After our 12 years of hard work, it had all paid off. As we took those steps out of the school gates and into the real world, it started to hit me..This was really it. It was all really over. On this day I said goodbye to many, many friends that I will not see or hear of for who knows how long. Some of these so called friends I honestly never really want to see. But as these 3 months roll by, I drift further and further away from the friends I knew. But as friends leave, new friends are always welcomed in.

During the 3 months off i had many adventures with my best friend kim. We spent schoolies week together with zac and suzannah. We headed up to Rainbow Beach for the week and it was amazing! I love it there. So peaceful, beach every day! We just relaxed and had so much fun. We rode camels, spent all day at the beach and ventured up to Carlo Sand blows. It was amazing up there.

After schoolies kim and i spent many days together going out to the movies and the beach. But now she's gone off to uni full time and i've started working. I miss her so much. She's really been a great friend.

I spent today with my lovely boyfriend. We've been together for almost 3 years now. It's amazing I know. A teenage couple thats lasted so long.. But you know what? I am so glad i've met him. We've had our ups and downs, but through it all we've worked through it all and going strong once again!

I often wonder where will go from here. I really want him to move in, I love spending time with him and I really hate it when he has to go home. That would have to be the worst part of my day. But it will happen when it happens.

In two days I start my first ever full-time job. Wow. Hard to believe that I'm going to work. But oh well. I have to start a fresh page and working is where it starts. But I've got an early start so I've got to head to bed.

Night all.